What is emotionally intelligent communication?

[braided-rug]

I came across this phrase while reading an article on social phobia. I came across this while looking up anxiety attacks after reading mrsbee's heart symptoms that she suggested I look into.

I don't think really I have anxiety attacks. Social phobia in a mild form perhaps. But, they mentioned this emotional intelligent communication with regard to social phobia. Hello, of the intelligences I think that is my strong point so that is very interesting.

helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm

I know some peope may accuse me of social phobia, as really I avoid the local food shop. If there are people going out of the way to make you uncomfortable why wouldn't you? Then they laugh. The other day a lady was laughing, a lady from the food shop. She heard me say I was going to sit in the car. That had nothing to do with anything except dh had to go to the bank, and was going to pay for it when he got bad, so I waited in the car.

Anyway, I am not upset, just very interested in the topic of social phobia in relation to emotial intelligence. Often these bullies put the idea in our mind we are shy and it is often not the case, but we believe it because they say so.

I am really happy as often people try to label my kids that way. Luckily they are quite brash? Not sure what that means, but loud and speak their mind, luckily not in a bad way.

[braided-rug]

I found this:

"An important competency of Emotional Intelligence is Intentionality. You need to talk about something informative, sensible, pleasant and non-offensive."

www.articlesbase.com/management-articles/emotionally-intelligent-communication-2065741.html

I do have a habit of being flip.

It goes on to say:

"You need to constantly ensure to develop this skill, as it leaves an indelible mark on others. Ensure that you know what you have to say beforehand. This adds credibility to your thoughts and can even help steer the course of the conversation in the direction you desire."

I think I have worked out by thinking about how others conduct good conversations, that seem professional that perhaps they have given thought to what they are saying, and perhaps have practised? I admire their respect of people.

..."Focus:

Focus is important to build a business relationship, as it involves giving your undivided attention to the other person/s. It puts them at ease and encourages free flow of ideas. Refrain from interrupting with advice or anecdotes to prove your point till the other person is comfortable.

It also helps a lot to focus upon non-verbal cues while you speak. This can help you choose your words and also know when to stop. The objective here is to be "good company". Be it an informal or formal gathering, it is best that you be prepared with a list of interesting or specific topics that you can put forward in an interesting manner."


Read more: www.articlesbase.com/management-articles/emotionally-intelligent-communication-2065741.html#ixzz121pyeqz6
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

I found that my real estate agent was doing some of these things. I wasn't comfortable to start with. He was saying very little in some ways.

[violet]

Br, it is my opinion that many people say very little that's worth hearing - myself included - but that more confident people say it nicely. And loudly.

Also, some people can't bear silence. They assume you're thinking this or that, when it's simply that there's nothing in particular to impart.

I agree with the verbal clues thing; that is extremely important when chatting with someone. That is a downfall of online communication: the speakers can't see the non-verbal clues.

As for brash, I am guessing that your kids are assertive. That's the nice space where they're able to say what they need to, without being aggressive, or show-offy or too quiet.

We had a person here who was heading into social phobia territory, and it had a very negative impact on their life. With lots of support, help and learning to understand the underlying issues, it was resolved.

However, there's a long, long distance between being shy and being the life of the party, and most people fit along that line somewhere, and I don't see that as a problem.

I'm most comfortable in a smaller group; large parties or functions where I don't know a soul see me turn into a wallflower. But oh well.

If the people in the local food shop make you feel uncomfortable, Br, you're wise to avoid it. It suggests that the people in that shop are lacking in emotional intelligence if they make their customers feel uncomfortable.

Elisa

[Linda]

Interesting article/topic, BR. I read through the first one.....and admit to feeling like that....almost all of the time. Wow.

I really, really dislike being the centre of attention (which has caused me multiple problems with youngest ds who knows nothing other than being the centre of attention). Many of those things listed....describe me.

I agree with what Elisa said...and especially the part about the people at the food shop....if they're making their customers feel uncomfortable...they *are* lacking emotional intelligence. Really, it wasn't any of her business where you waited...or why you wanted to wait there.

There are a million reasons why you might want to wait in the car. I quite often wait in the car (have to because I can't stand too long or walk too far around a store).

To me, people like that are very shallow...and have too much time on their hands. I'd better not get started....people like that really bother me....

[braided-rug]

I find I am getting much better lately. I think if I had the money to go out more I may get on top of most of it. I still think I am best to stay away from the types that obviously have fun with people. They probably think they have more affect on people than they do in reality.

[braided-rug]

Linda, don't forget to take some of it with a grain of salt.